Such A Time As This | Aubree Munro Watson
In my most broken moments Jesus has always been there to put me back together.
My freshman year of college at Florida was arguably the most difficult year of my life up to this point. I was homesick and struggling to perform on the field even remotely close to what I knew I was capable of. It was my first time truly struggling with my identity. Who was I if I wasn’t a good softball player? I thought I had balance before that year but when I got to school it really felt like my whole life revolved around softball and since I was struggling it felt like I didn’t have anything to offer in any way.
So during a moment mid season when I was at my wit’s end I finally surrendered—I literally said “God I can’t do this anymore. Whatever I’ve been doing hasn’t been working anyway. Take control of my life”
And it was in that moment that with tears in my eyes I felt like I could breathe deeply for the first time all year.
Since that moment of surrender my focus has changed. Now I’m not just a softball player, I’m a daughter of the King of Kings. I’m not just someone who can throw a ball well, I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. Since that day I’ve been able to see the purpose God has on my life through my story. I’ve learned that God makes all things work together for our good so every bit of our stories, the good, the bad, and the ugly, can be used for His glory. That realization has made me better at handling failure and keeping my identity in the one who is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
I love thinking about purpose. My favorite verse is Esther 4:14 “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.” It’s just beautiful to think about how intentional God is with us. That no matter who or where we’ve been He has a purpose for us. We are in specific places with specific people at specific moments for a reason. Knowing that God is that intentional with my life and purpose makes me want to live as intentional as I can because I don’t want to miss a second of what He has for me. It has led to me living a bolder life, which is a true miracle transformation of the timid heart I used to have. It has led me to saying “yes” more to unique opportunities. It has led me to deeper relationships and it has led me to a fuller and more blessed life both on the softball field and in my personal life.
All of that change in perspective because in a moment of brokenness I cried out to Jesus. That moment of brokenness was the surrender I needed to walk in freedom, which is how I live and play softball now. That freedom allows me to compete with joy in big moments now. I’m so excited to compete joyfully in 2020 on the path of purpose that God has laid out before me.
Forever grateful for that moment of surrender that has allowed me to see the goodness of God in all things and that prepared my heart “for such a time as this.”